Some people do feel that porn holds a negative place in their lives, and porn should also never be used for sex education. Not only that, porn can replicate and enforce misogyny, racism, and harmful stereotypes-much like other mass media. Many people feel shame about consuming porn for some of the same reasons they feel shame about sex in general: Our society is often loath to endorse nudity, experimentation, or sexual pleasure. YouTube is also a treasure trove of sexy (yet non-pornographic) clips from shows and movies if you find it hot, chances are others have, too.įinally, a word about porn: It’s okay if you never decide to look at it, but your hunch about societal guilt is correct. Written erotica can be very titillating, either in the dead tree form or on the internet- Literotica has been around for years and boasts a huge database, so it might be a great place to start. If you feel comfortable with it, audio porn is a great way to let your imagination run wild without being confronted with hardcore images. Some of my first jolts of sexual arousal happened far more innocently, like watching a kissing scene from my favorite TV show or reading a racy passage in a book. You can always steer your mind back to the more appealing visuals and scenarios.Īlso, just because you’re not comfortable with straight-up pornographic images doesn’t mean your fantasies need to be completely unassisted. Weird, unexpected images might flash into your brain, and not all of them are going to do it for you. Try to stretch your desires beyond your past experiences and immediate affections, to something you’d hypothetically want if you had the opportunity. Pick out the best parts, even if they were only flashes of pleasure and excitement. How do you get those fantasies flowing? You don’t mention in your question whether or not you’ve had sexual experiences with others, or even whether you’ve had crushes, but if you have: Ruminate on those.
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